The engagement ceremony is an important pre-wedding ritual in Indian cultures. An engagement is a promise to wed, and also the period of time between a marriage proposal and a marriage. Engagement ceremonies are uniform across most religion and ethnicities across India, differing in nuances and details of the rituals. In some cultures the engagement precedes the actual wedding by as much as a year whereas in others they are held a day or two prior the actual wedding. Exchanging of rings is not mandatory in all cultures across the country, but it is almost always involves the ritual being the formal announcement of the upcoming wedding.
Following are the types of Engagement Ceremonies that happen in India:-
Marwari’s
The Marwari engagement ceremony is known as the Mudha Tika ceremony. The groom’s family visits the bride’s home. They carry with them a silver thali containing essential items for the ceremonial puja which includes rice, jaggery, sweets, dry fruits, flowers, a dia, vermala, and a diamond ring. Other gifts include the outfit for the bride and jewellery. The groom’s sister puts a vermala tika on the bride’s forehead, feeds her jiggery and presents her with the ring. The bride’s family in turn showers the groom’s sister with gifts or jewellery. The process is repeated with the bride’s brother doing the same for the groom and presenting the ring to him.
Gujarati’s
The Gujarati engagement ceremony is known as the Gol Dhana or Gor Dhana. It literally translates into coriander seeds and Jaggery. The bride and her family visits the groom’s place with gifts of cash and clothes and sweets made out of coriander and jaggery. The couple exchange rings, seeks blessings from elders of the family, particularly five married couples, and are fed the traditional sweets mentioned before.
Maharashtrian
The Maharashtrian engagement ceremony is termed as Sakhar Puda which literally means worshipping the sugar. It marks the first puja of the wedding celebrations and can take place several weeks before the wedding date. The puja is done by both groom’s and bride’s families together and at the end of the puja the families feed each other sugar as a celebration of formalization of the union.
Bengali
In Bengali traditions, the engagement ceremony does not involve exchange of rings. The ceremony is termed as Ashirbaad which translates as blessing. Elders of the groom’s family visit the bride’s place and offer their blessings along with a token which is generally cash or a piece of jewellery. Same procedure is repeated by elders from the bride’s family to the groom. Sometimes the ceremony takes place on a separate day than the wedding; otherwise it is generally done on the wedding day just prior to the commencement of wedding rituals.
Punjabis
The formal engagement ceremony in both Punjabi Hindu and Sikh traditions are termed as Kurmai or Shagan. This event may take place either several days before the wedding day or just the day before. This ceremony either takes place at the groom’s place or at a Gurudwara. The bride’s family visits with gifts of clothes, sweets and dry fruits. In Sikh practices, the bride’s father presents the boy with a Kada (traditional Sikh bangles), a gold ring, and gold coins. This seals the betrothal and generally a feast follows (Langar in case of Sikhs).
Hariyanvi Jaats
The engagement ceremony here is referred to as the Sagai. It also refers to the period of engagement prior to the actual wedding. On the day of the engagement the groom and his close relatives visit the bride’s home and present a ring to the bride. The bride wears this engagement ring on the ring finger of her left hand and this mark the bride as a betrothed woman.
Himachalis
In Himachali traditions, the Roka or Thaka marks the formal announcement of the wedding and is the equivalent of an engagement ceremony elsewhere. The boy’s father visit’s the girl’s residence accompanied by a priest and presents her with jewellery and clothes, offers his blessings and performs a puja with the priest.
Oriya
In Odisha, the formal engagement ritual is termed as Nirbandh. More than a ring exchange ceremony it marks the formal announcement of the impending wedding. Incidentally, this ceremony takes place without the presence of either the bride or the groom. It takes place at the bride’s house and the heads of the families from both sides take an oath to marry their children on the mentioned date. It is generally accompanied with a puja and a small feast.
Malayalee
In Kerala, the Hindu engagement ceremony is termed as Nishchayam and takes place at the bride’s ancestral home. The engagement platter or the nishchayam thamboolam is exchanged between the two families following a puja. The ceremony is sealed off with a traditional malayalee feast.
Tamil
The engagement ceremony in the Hindu communities of Tamil nadu is known as Nichayathartham. The ceremony begins with worshipping of the Almighty Ganesha followed by exchange of clothes and gifts between the two families. The bride and the groom then change into the new clothes. The groom’s sister applies tilak of kumkum and chandan on the bride’s forehead and offers her a garland while the bride’s brother does the same to the groom. The bride and groom then exchange rings and seek blessings from the elders.
Telugu
The formal engagement ceremony is termed as Varapuja or Kanya Nishchayam. Varapuja is where the bride’s side presents the groom with the ring and other gifts. Kanya Nishchayam id the groom’s family doing the same for the bride. Theis generally takes place at a temple and on the day the date of the wedding is fixed after consulting the Lagna Patrikas of the bride and groom.
Information Source: Cultural India.net
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